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Imperial Squirrel Squad

 

 

Club Squirrel character art by Gib.

Moff Keith Lard

"Under Imperial Fire and safety law 'section 479.165 Certification of fire officials; rules. (1) In accordance with any applicable provisions of ORS chapter 183, the State Fire Marshal, by rule, shall establish a certification system for fire officials who review plans, new construction, alterations and specifications from a uniform fire code.  (2) Fire officials who review plans, new construction, alterations and specifications from a uniform fire code shall be certified under subsection (1) of this section.  (3) Nothing in this section shall be construed to expand the duties of the State Fire Marshal with respect to regulating additional types of structures.'  So I think you know where I'm coming from Mr.  Gustavu.  Failure to comply with said regulations gives me reason to close down Garrison here.  Now about those oily rags rags in corner over here..."

Keith Lard D20 RPG stats

Level: Imperial Officer (Noble 3 / Soldier 2)

Str 11, Dex 14, Con 11, Int 16, Wis 16, Cha 17

VP/WP: 31/11, Defense 16 (+4 class, +2 Dex), Init +2, Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +6, Rep 2

Attack Melee +4, Ranged +6

Skills: Bluff +11, Command +10, Computers +13, Demolitions +6, Disguise +4, Intimidate +13, Knowledge (Imperial Law) +13, Pilot +3, Profession (H&S Officer) +3, Repair +8, Sense Motive +9, Spot +7, Treat Injury +5.

Feats: Armour Proficiency (light), Frightful Presence, Gearhead, Infamy, Persuasive, Weapon Group (Simple), Weapon Group (Blaster Pistols), Weapon Group (Blaster Rifles), Weapon Group (Vibro Weapons), Weapon Group (Heavy Weapons).

Class bonus: Favour +2, Inspire Confidence, Resource Access, +4 to Imperial H&S law checks

Capsule : Keith Lard is renown throughout the Empire as the Health & Safety inspector from hell.  One of the many Imperial Officer's whose career has been impeded by Keith Lard is Moff Gustavu, formerly of the Tapani Sector.  Following a H&S inspection by Lard the Garrison run by Moff Gustavu was burnt to the ground.  Gustavu was then reassigned to Tapani where he held no real power.  Meanwhile Keith Lard had apparently defected to the Rebel Alliance.  After a mix-up of identities Lord Darth Vader pursued Keith Lard and his friends to the planet Socorro.  When eventually captured Keith Lard was sentenced to death by the Dark Lord himself.  However, when discovered Skywalker was not with them he left in a fit of rage allowing the rebels to escape.  As Vader had not actually signed any official death certificates Keith Lard was able to use this loop-hole in the law to go go free.  

Keith Lard recently found himself involved in complicated plots of treachery in the Tapani Sector involving House Barnaba, the Rebel Alliance, the Justice Action Network and the Imperial Security Bureau.  While in Tapani Lard was confronted by an angry Moff gustavu, with the Moff crazed Moff even trying to kill Lard.  In a surprise turn of events Keith Lard agreed to aid the ISB in return to being re-instated in his former Imperial role.  In a bigger surprise Moff Gustavu was removed from post and Keith Lard promoted to the rank of Moff of the Tapani Sector.  Hushed whispers say the ISB were involved, but such rumours are quickly quelled by ISB.

Character inspired by Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights

Hamish McBarstard

"Me no stupid.  Me know how to smash your face!"

Hamish McBarstard D20 RPG stats

Level: Soldier 5

Str 20, Dex 18, Con 20, Int 13, Wis 13, Cha 14

VP/WP: 69/20, Defense 19 (+5 class, +4 Dex), Init +4, Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +2, Rep 1

Attack Melee +10, Ranged +9

Skills: Balance +6, Climb +9, Craft (Blasters) +4, Demolitions +6, Intimidate +10, Jump +9, Pilot +7, Profession (Bodyguard) +6, Search +3, Spot +3, Treat Injury +5.

Feats: Armour Proficiency (light), Armour Proficiency (medium), Martial Arts, Improved Martial Arts, Two-Weapon Fighting, Weapon Group (Simple), Weapon Group (Blaster Pistols), Weapon Group (Blaster Rifles), Weapon Group (Vibro Weapons), Weapon Group (Heavy Weapons).

Capsule : Hamish McBarstard is the bodyguard of Keith Lard.  Hamish is a Gurella, an ape-like cloned slave race created by the Empire.  Each Gurella is fitted with a memory control chip allowing it's memory to be recorded, and edited, and for it's master to control it's actions.  Hamish, like all of his race, is very strong and very capable in combat.  During recent events in the Tapani sector Hamish was manipulated by the Dark Side ISB agent Demise to kill the Lord & Lady Arbella of House Barnaba.  Hamish was then killed by the Imperial security, nicely removing any evidence.  Hamish's memory chip has been uploaded into another clone so he may once more serve Keith Lard.

With his new position in the Empire Hamish has submitted his design plans for the new Imperial Star Destroyer, the ISD III.  The plans have yet to be approved. 

Baron Jeribiah Joseph

"How much to go where?  Five thousand?  Hey pal, I don't even lift off for six thousand, so you'd better go do yourself some math."

Jerebiah Joseph D20 RPG stats

Level 5: Smuggler (Scoundrel 5)

Str 14, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 13, Cha 14

VP/WP: 36/14, Defense 16 (+4 class, +2 Dex), Init +6, Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +2, Rep 1

Attack Melee +5, Ranged +5

Skills: Appraise +7, Astrogate +10, Bluff +7, Demolitions +9, Diplomacy +4, Disable Device +9, Gamble +3, Gather Information +9, Hide +7, Listen +6, Pilot +13, Profession (Smuggler) +6, Repair +9, Sense Motive +4, Sleight of Hand +7, Spot +6, Tumble +5.

Feats: Armour Proficiency (light), Improved Initiative, Card Shark, Starship Operation (Transports), Trustworthy, Weapon Group (Simple), Weapon Group (Blaster Pistols)

Class Bonus: Illicit Barter, Lucky (1/day), Precise Attack +1

Capsule : Jeribiah is a smuggler, and he makes no denial of the fact, except when going through customs.  At some time in the past Jerebiah unofficially adopted the kid Bun Goal as his nephew.  The two traveled the space lanes trading illicit cargos for unscrupulous gangsters, except for spice, Jeribiah never trades in spice.  When Jerebiah hooked up with the Rebel Alliance he was teamed with Keith Lard and Hamish McBarstard, who he tolerates.  

Jerebiah was recently tracked down by none other than Boba Fett who delivered a wedding invitation from his sister.  Jerebiah's sister is Scarlet Starflare a famous holovid entertainer who was planning on marrying Lord Arabella, younger brother of Lady Arbella, head of House Barnaba in the Tapani Sector.  Upon arriving in the sector Jerebiah became embroiled in the plots and intrigues of the sector.  It turned out that Scarlet was in fact an ISB agent, so it was just as well that Jerebiah defected to the Empire.  When the mind-controlled Hamish killed Lord and Lady Arabella moments after the Lord and Scarlet were wed it left House Barnaba in a difficult situation.  Scarlet has taken control of House Barnaba and granted Jerebiah the title of Baron, along with a house and monies to go with it.

Bun Goal  a.k.a. Darth Callous

"Mercy is the path to the Light Side.  Mercy leads to Sympathy.  Sympathy leads to Compassion. Compassion leads to Love.  I want no part of it."

Bun Goal D20 RPG stats

Level: 5 (fringer 5)

Str 13, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 15, Cha 15

VP/WP: 38/12, Defense 19 (+5 class, +3 Dex, +1 size)

Init +3, Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +3, Rep 1

Attack Melee +5, Ranged +7

Skills: Astrogate +4, Balance +8, Climb +3, Handle Animal +3, Hide +7, Knowledge (Streetwise) +7, Knowledge (Jedi Lore) +8, Pilot +10, Repair +8, Search +7, Spot +9, Survival +8, Tumble +6

Feats: Acrobatic, Starship Operation (Transports), Weapon Group (Simple), Weapon Group (Blaster Pistols), Weapon Group (Primitive Weapons)

Class bonus: Jury Rig +2, Barter +5

Capsule : Bun Goal is the adopted nephew of Jerebiah Joseph.  Though only young Bun is a capable fighter and excellent starship pilot.  Recently Bun has started to show force sensitivity, something that came to the attention of the Dark Side agent Demise as she posed as a maid in the Tapani Sector.  Demise was able to plant the seeds of darkness in Buns mind and offer him the power that the now extinct Jedi could never do.  With Lard, McBastard and Jerebiah now working for the Empire it is only fitting that Bun Goal become the the apprentice to Demise.  The temptations of power draw Bun ever closer to the darkness.